... pain can be all for the best

I'm in the middle of high school swim season right now.  And it's rough. We have two-a-day practices which basically make me want to die and two meets a week.  Since it is the night after two particularly hard practices I'm in a pretty negative mood.  But I know it will get better.

Today we ran two miles in the morning after weight lifting.  And that may not sound like very much, but I'm a swimmer and not a runner for a reason.  Running is hard for me, and this run imparticular was difficult.  I usually go into things like this with thoughts such as "This is stupid!" or "I'm never going to finish this," which clearly doesn't make the run any easier.  But shutting off negative thoughts is harder than you would think.  It's easy to think the night before, "Hey, tommorrow I'm going to work really hard at practice," but following through in the morning is a completely different situation.  But back to the run, I finished it despite my negative attitude.  Then this afternoon we did a difficult set in the pool.  And being the strong person I am, I developed a hip injury.  This is pretty common for me after I run, and I have no idea why.

With my pained hip I didn't get out of the set, I got to do it on the same time as everyone else, but only using my arms.  So now as I'm sitting here writing for my blog I'm in some serious pain.  My arms and legs and killing, and I know practice tomorrow is going to be rough too.  So my mental state is pretty weak too.  But sitting here with aching muscles feels kind of good, too.  I know  I worked hard today at practice, so when the end of the season comes I'll just be that much faster.  And practicing tomorrow with sore muscles is going to make swimming at State and Districts seem like a piece of cake.  It makes me feel like, if I can do this now when I feel horrible, what am I going to be able to do when I feel fantastic and well rested?  I'll be conquering the world.

So even though the pain is real rough, especially in the middle of a set or jog, I think it might all be worth it.  If it makes me swim faster and drop time, my hard work will be justified.  But what if I don't drop time?  Even then I think it'll still be worth it.  Through swimming I've made a lot of great friends, and the recognition I get is great too.  So even if I end up not getting stellar times, I won't regret it.  For some crazy reason I love swimming, don't ask me why.  The possiblity of improving and knowing that swimming makes me better even if I'm not dropping time makes me feell good.  It makes me optimistic that the pain can be all for the best.